Congratuations to Keith Chiles for the first Dr. Internet Question!!!!!
Question
Dr. Internet, what is the random back-off algorithm? - Keith
Answer
Dear Keith, that is the amount of time you must figure before you can approach your boss again after he has chewed you out. The calculation is quite easy. The number of days before you can approach your boss again is equal to the number of chewing outs you've already received plus the numerical number of your birth month and divide the total by the number of your birthday.Days To Approch = (# of Butt Chewings This Year + # of Birth Month)/# of Birth Day
-------Dr.I
Question
Dr. Internet, Why do many people on the 'net refer to Netscape as Mozilla??? The people wanna know! - Scott
Answer
Dear Scott, There are several rumors to the name Mozilla. The first is that many refer to Netscape as Mozilla because they see Netscape as the company to destroy Microsoft. But this would make Marc Andreesen, Raymond Burr. The second rumor surfaced after a word smith studied the root meanings of the word in the original language. Mozilla comes from the old latin root of Mo meaning the USS Missouri and her 16 canons, and the slang noun modifier from New Orleans Creole French Zilla, which means Zoro's Villa. Dr. Interent does not give any weight to those rumors. After much investigation and a drinking binge with Scott McNeally....Scott confided with Dr.I that Mozilla is really a pledge of love from Marc to Maureen Stapleton.-------Dr.I
Question
Dr. Internet, What is a collision domain? - Sarah
Answer
Dear Sarah, A collision domain is caused when you use a single phone line at home to download a very large internet file, and your spouse/teenager picks up the phone and knocks you off with only seconds left in the download. In the crisis, you will collide with various object in your domain as you attempt to capture the offender for mass quantities of torture. An alternative definition is the aisle on airplanes.-------Dr.I
Question
Dr. Internet, Is it true that Windows95 was inspired by Monty Python and the Holy Grail? - Michael
Answer
Dear Michael, One would think that Bill Gates is related to King Pellinore, Knight of the Questing Beast. But Dr. Internet inclines towards the theory that the Windows thrust into the computer environment is more like the movie Outbreak.
-------Dr.I
Question
Dr. Internet, How does one deal with a Demilitarized Zone within the office? - Andi
Answer
Dear Andi, Go watch a few Rambo and Chuck Norris return to Vietnam films.-------Dr.I
Question
Dr. Internet, What is data processing and does it require a skilled operator? - Peggy
Answer
Dear Peggy, Considering that technology is increasing at a log-rythmic rate and human intelligence is only increasing at a fraction of that - we are developing into functional technical illiterates. Therefore, your position has already been replaced by a computer and you should brush up on your vocabulary - "Would you like fries with that?" .-------Dr.I
Question
Dr. Internet, What is the social relevency of Dr. Internet's Service? - Christopher
Answer
Dear Christopher, In a 3rd and short offense the best call is to give to your strong fullback and left him run off tackle. But if you are devious another good call would be to go deep.-------Dr.I
Question
Dr. Internet, Why? - Jeff
Answer
Dear Jeff, The obvious answer is because. But that is a now a tired cliche. Nor is the answer 42. Not only is that the answer to another question, it is also over used. I can't answer 'Why Not?.' Because that is currently in appeal in the 2nd District Court. The answer now, as Dr. Internet sees it - [ROTFL].-------Dr.I
[ROTFL - Rolling on the Floor Laughing]
Question
Dr. Internet, Why would the introduction of an NT server bring down a network? - Anthony
Answer
Dear Anthony,Dr. Internet is empathetic to your plight....the insideousness of NT Server has been beguilling users and IT managers for the last couple of years. But remember, NT stands for Not Today. Everything about NT, is designed for tomorrow - when the actual product will ship. According to Microsoft press releases this version is not the version that will ship someday soon. So - NT continues to grab mind share at the expense of administration and support cost - that are expected to go down once the actual product ships.
Re - the destructive tendencies of NT....One can only suppose that Mr. Gates is better at building agressive technology that brings down other systems, then building a stable operating system that plays nice in an open environment. Or - as one philosopher put it....if you can't walk softly and carry a big stick - walk loudly and carry a bigger stick. - Daffy Duck
-------Dr.I
